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25 Random Facts About Me – By Big Bird

Rules:
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

  1. I never cry.  Except when I wet my nest.  But then only sometimes.
  2. I’ve always thought there was something not right about the letter R.  I swear, that guy’s up to something.
  3. When I pick up a book, magazine, or newspaper, I’m not really reading it.  I’m just looking at the words.  I don’t actually know how to read.
  4. I’m worried that Snuffie’s pot smoking will make him sterile, but I don’t know how to tell him.  Snuffie, stop smoking drugs.  You’re killing your family.
  5. Sometime in the next twelve months I will  fake my own death.  Haven’t worked out all the details yet, but it will definitely involve some rubbing alcohol, a toaster, Ernie’s Rubber Duckie, and the number 8.
  6. If I could have dinner with one dead celebrity it would be Jam-Master Jay from Run D.M.C.
  7. Two words that describe me: bored and rich.
  8. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who understands what Britney Spears is going through.
  9. Since I’m 40 years old and still single, people always ask me at what age I’ll consider eHarmony a viable option.  The real question is at what age I’ll  consider a prostitute a viable option.  The answer is 42.
  10. Stranded with three castmates on a desert island?  Easy.  Kill Count von Count, screw the Cookie Monster, marry Grover.  Man!  There really aren’t any chicks in this neighborhood.
  11. Sometimes I take money out of homeless people’s cups when they’re not looking.
  12. I think superstitious people are retarded.
  13. Ethnic people frighten me.  Yes, that includes Canadians.
  14. It makes me sad when I think about how Rosie O’Donnell is a lesbian.  I had a crush on her for most of my thirties.
  15. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything as much as Oscar loves being grumpy.
  16. My musical preferences make me feel superior to you.
  17. I think my romantic peak was sometime during the fall of 1978.  I was nine.
  18. To date, five of my costars have opened up to me about their private struggles with substance abuse and body image issues.  Some days I think I might explode from all the secrets I’m holding.
  19. Sometimes, when all my friends have gone home and I’m being truly honest with myself, I wonder: Who the hell is buying Nickelback CDs?
  20. The fact that I am 8 foot 2 inches tall and cannot dunk a basketball depresses me almost every single day.
  21. One of my professional goals is to star as myself in a movie about Jessica Alba’s fantasy life.
  22. I was going to audition for Season Three of Flavor of Love, but my publicist said it would “alienate my fan base,” whatever that means.
  23. With the notable exception of “10 Things I Hate About You,” lists divisible by five have always made me uncomfortable.
  24. I voted for McCain.

TAGGED!
Paris Hilton
Jesus
Marilyn Manson
Harry Potter
Hillary Rodham Clinton

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