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US Cuts Diplomatic Ties With Rest of World

WASHINGTON DC (AP) – In a shocking announcement yesterday, the United States of America announced that it is officially severing all ties with the rest of the world after nearly two and a half centuries of peaceful coexistence on the same planet. US officials cited egregious rudeness and worldwide ingratitude as primary reasons for the […]

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Who Needs Ice Caps?: A Word on Global Warming

As with most things not featured in the newspaper’s sports section or covered extensively on E! the Entertainment Channel, this whole Global Warming debacle perplexes me to no end.  So, it appears the earth is frantically trying to warm itself and a coalition of actors and former vice-presidents are trying desperately to stop it.  That […]

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Over-Stimulated: A Word on Recession-Based Advertising

You know what the worst thing about this whole economic downturn is?  Please, don’t say the lost jobs, foreclosed homes, bankrupt businesses, broken lives, or shattered dreams.  Those are all peripheral annoyances at best.  The single most unbearable, most depressing, most honest-to-God soul-destroying aspect of our receding GDP is the glut of recession based advertising […]

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Balls to the Wall: A Word on Health Insurance

Can I talk to you for five minutes about health care?  Last night, while I was trying to find Frankie Muniz’s E! True Hollywood Story, I accidentally stumbled upon MSNBC and was deeply disturbed by what I found there.  If Keith Olbermann and the channel’s other intolerable lesbian are to believed, it seems a healthy […]

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Apocalypse Soon: A Word on California (Part 1)

Can I talk to you for five minutes about California, or, to quote 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy, The Gaypublic of Drugifornia?  There was once a dream that was California. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish… it was so fragile.  At the edge of the continent, past the […]

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Road Rage: A Word on Liberal Bumper Stickers

Can I talk to you for five minutes about liberal bumper stickers?  Actually, I just want to talk about one.  I’ve only asked for five minutes of your time so I’ll have to save “Not my President”, “Meat is Murder”, and “The blood of New Orleans is on Republican hands” for another day.  I’m going […]

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