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Crossroads Christian Worship Centre Sonday Bulletin

Crossroads Christian Worship Centre
Sonday January 3, 2010

Happy Twenty Ten everybody! It’s so great to ring in another new year here at the Centre. We’ve got a lot of great things going this year to keep you fellowshipping here with us, from the men’s wood chopping Bible study to the new “twitter” service (for all you webbies that prefer your Jesus in 140 characters!), there is something for every preference!

Great news for all you coffee buffs: CCWC’s in-house coffee shop Java Jesus finally has an organic, free-trade blend! We fly it in directly from Costa Rica once a month. This stuff comes highly recommended from our missionaries there, so grab a Zacchaeus (S), a David (M) or a Whopping 24oz. Goliath (L) before the service. It will definitely keep you from dozing off when Pastor Elliot goes off on one of his epic 40 minute messages! LOL!

Message from Pastor Elliot

Hey there bro’s and sis’s! The Centre had a great year last year, growing to over 65,000 members! It was so, so sick when we hit that number, I almost passed out. Praise the Lord! This year has got some really cool things in store for everybody as they come here to the CROSSroads. You may have noticed over the past few months that our budget hasn’t exactly been as spiffy and spirit-filled as we’d like it to be, so we’ve had to make some cuts here and there in order to keep the doors open. Don’t worry, we’re not getting rid of the jumbotron or closing our cutting edge fitness centre Lifting the Cross,* we’re just adjusting a few things to save some dough!

After Big Brother Government started picking up some of our slack with social justice programs (and we’re thankful – CCWC is the official worship centre of the Obama campaign!**), we decided that it would be a good idea to bring in some help for our prayer groups too! We’ve teamed up with a great ministry in Bali to bring you an ear to listen and a voice to pray 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. These guys are even available to pray on Christmas! This great opportunity is going to be available to anybody, not just CCWC members.

I’ve already used the service a few times and I can tell you from personal experience that this is a great deal! You even feel like you’re getting a sort of tropical vacation, just by hearing their accents on the phone. And get THIS: They’ll even say some of their own prayers in their native language for you! I couldn’t even believe it. I thought to myself, “it’s like they’re praying for me in tongues!” Before you ask: Duh, they’re totally praying to Jesus. It’s India, not Pakistan.

Additionally, we’ve picked up a sponsorship from The Olive Garden for our communions! It’s going to be the best communion experience you’ve ever had, guaranteed. Jesus never tasted this good!

Minor changes for CCWC, but it’s all in an effort to be better stewards of the money that God has blessed us with!

Thanks all for today, I’ll see you next Sonday which will feature the original DC Talk line-up leading us in worship!***

*For tithing members only. Present tithe receipt for admission.
** Not confirmed by the Obama Campaign.
***Another perk of your tithes!

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