It came from under the ottoman

Staff Editorial

While careful examination and logical reasoning would lead one to believe that this brand new blog was painstakingly written, edited, designed and laid-out, while all evidence and common sense would suggest that hours of toil and effort went into creating this page, we must confess -like a middle schooler caught with porn – we have no idea where it came from.

Prevailing theories thus far among The Talking Mirror community point to an enigmatic event in the shrouded past of last fall (approximately 14.3 weeks ago) called only “The Big Gulp.” It was at this time that an entire Big Gulp of Wild Cherry Pepsi was spilled onto a pile of calculators, computer games and old issues of PC World. So as not to infringe upon the natural conditions of the apartment, no efforts were made to clean up the spill.

The unfathomably long months of winter rolled on while the soupy mixture of soft-drink and software stewed in the darkness under the ottoman. Inexplicably, about 4.5 million seconds ago, the illegible stains, circuits, and carpet fibers mutated into an early form of web design. It is believed that in its formative days the page contained primarily monosyllabic text and rudimentary flash animations, but in only a few million seconds it evolved into the highly advanced, easily navigable masterpiece you see before you today.

During an exploration of the sub-couch environment last week we discovered a Blackberry containing this fully formed blog as well as a first generation Game Boy and Giga Pet (believed to share a common ancestor with this site). We felt compelled by the extraordinary nature of our discovery to share it with the world.

We were shocked and saddened to find that the first “purely scientific” blog was met with disbelief and skepticism by fundamentalists within the internet community. These anti-Pepsi extremists claim that the articles and pictures on this page were intentionally arranged to be aesthetically pleasing, and that if you took away even the smallest line of code away, none of it would make any sense.

While we cannot understand the intolerance and ignorance that one must possess to say these things, we hold out to these dissenters and to any haters in our midst, this blog. The fact that it exists is proof that it must have happened. If it was not as we say, then how, pray tell, would you be reading this right now? We are the experts here. Our statements are beyond reproach. Our logic is unassailable. So seriously, take our word for it.

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