Some News in Review

Today we’re going to cover a story that literally made me laugh out loud, and then uncontrollably respond with this statement: It’s about damn time.

A man in South Philadelphia shot another man for talking during a movie.

See? You couldn’t help but smile a little bit and wish you could covertly high five the shooter. Don’t lie to me. You feel a little vindicated. And let’s be clear – we here at The Talking Mirror don’t condone violence. Except in situations where it’s really funny or is obviously the best form of justice. This situation happens to qualify for both. He didn’t kill the guy, he just shot him in the arm. And he had yelled at him the whole time and had even “fired a warning shot,” which is to say he threw popcorn at the guy.42-16070641

How many times have you secretly wished you could do the same thing to some idiot who wouldn’t shut the hell up? This is a safe place. Let’s be vulnerable. I myself have had a few extended fantasies involving doing violence to people who talk during movies or kick my chair. Would I ever act on those fantasies? Of course not, I’m a civilized person and I’m not sure my snarky humor would get me very far in prison. But honestly, if you’re watching a movie in South Philly and some dude behind you is getting real pissed about you talking…. Maybe you should shut your mouth. It’s South Philly. It’s practically a real life version of Grand Theft Auto. If you decide to pull the “it’s a free country” card, then you need to realize that you might get shot. It is a free country, and that gentleman chose to use his freedom to shoot you and then get arrested. Was the conversation really worth it? I hope so, dumbass.

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About the author

Patriot. Texan. Humor Writer. Romancer. Hero. Like it? Love it? Want some more of it? Follow @realdcm on Twitter, and stay tuned to TTM.
  • Zac

    The best part is, after perpetrating his crime, he sat down to enjoy the rest of the sprawling narrative that is benjamin button.

  • Zac

    The best part is, after perpetrating his crime, he sat down to enjoy the rest of the sprawling narrative that is benjamin button.

  • http://www.nathanthorp.com Nate

    just imagine what would have happened if his cell phone had gone off.

  • http://www.nathanthorp.com Nate

    just imagine what would have happened if his cell phone had gone off.

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