WHEATON (AP) – The Talking Mirror has received word that after three years of platonic male friendships, local college junior Sandra Williams is finally “one of the guys.”  Sandra received the long-awaited news last week in the form of a flatulent emission made in her presence by Doug “D Dawg” Samuels while the two gorged on fried pork rinds and watched Borat.

“They’re always talking about farts and burps,” said Sandra, “and a couple times I’ve talked to Doug on the phone while he was going to the bathroom, but this is the first time one of the boys has actually farted in front of me.  It’s kind of flattering.”

While Sandra has long answered to traditionally male monikers like “brah,” “broseph,” and “duder,” it wasn’t until she made an off-color joke during a visit to Lincoln Park Zoo’s primate exhibit that the guys realized she was one of them. Read the full story

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