With so much reveling, carousing, and dri – uhh…bowl game watching going on in recent days, it’s been tough to find time to sate TTM’s insatiable hunger for fresh content.  Fortunately, my 12 year-old cousin is not old enough to dri – umm…doesn’t like football, and therefore had plenty of free time.  While on Christmas Break, Benjamin’s class was asked to write a report on a movie that he saw or a book that he read.  Like every other 5th grader this side of Pyongyang, Benjamin saw “Avatar”.  He has graciously submitted his “movie report” for publication on this site.

SPOILER ALERT: He pretty much gives away the whole movie.

BY: Benjamin Woodyard

I want to tell you guys out there about the movie Avatar. It’s so cool.  The dragons are so cool.  The floating mountains are so cool.  The main guy (I forget his name) is so cool.  I think pretty much everyone thinks it’s probably the best movie of all time.  Some people might say Harry Potter or Monsters Inc. or something else is better, but that’s probably because they saw it in a normal theater instead of in 3-D which is how I saw it.

Avatar is about this soldier who’s in a wheelchair for some reason we don’t know about.  (Probably from fighting the terrorists in Detroit.)  He goes in a space ship to another planet which is kind of like Earth except cooler because they have aliens and dragons.

When he gets to the new planet he meets this army general who talks about how everyone wants to kill the people but how the people are going to kill everyone first because the people have guns and no one else does.  I think.  It was kind of confusing.  But then the wheelchair guy meets the mean lady from Holes.  She’s a scientist or something.  She’s mean to him at first because he’s in a wheelchair.  My mom says this is called “disc-information.” Read the full story

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