Have you ever taken a dump that the toilet just couldn’t seem to choke down? I feel like that toilet when I’m forced to listen to Jason Mraz’s scattin’, be-boppin’, skiddlywink warbling. I could be anywhere– walking down the street, in my grandmother’s car, at the TJMaxx– when my ears are suddenly spewed upon. It’s funny that “scat,” the obnoxious jazz-influenced vocal riffing that Mrass-clown utilizes, is also a homonym for droppings, feces, or crap, typically of the animal variety. The latter kind of “scat” is exactly what falls like little black pellets from Mrass-goblin’s mouth. After spending some time percolating in the artistic cesspool of Los Angeles, it is rerouted to the ears of consumers, which then become toilets, which then must choke down the wretched aural blob with a mental flush or two.

Here’s the deal: I just fundamentally reject Mraz’s entire ethos. Honestly, Mr. A-Z is just Jimmy Buffet for Generation Y. It’s cleaned up and made to sound intelligent to the average Delta Phi Kappa bro just learning to play some riffs on the guitar, but at it’s core it’s the same swill. And the worst part is, he’s one of several unconscious Buffet memes; an all-star lineup that includes Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Matt Nathanson, G. Love, Gavin DeGraw, so on and so on. Read the full story

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