Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
- I never cry. Except when I wet my nest. But then only sometimes.
- I’ve always thought there was something not right about the letter R. I swear, that guy’s up to something.
- When I pick up a book, magazine, or newspaper, I’m not really reading it. I’m just looking at the words. I don’t actually know how to read.
- I’m worried that Snuffie’s pot smoking will make him sterile, but I don’t know how to tell him. Snuffie, stop smoking drugs. You’re killing your family.
- Sometime in the next twelve months I will fake my own death. Haven’t worked out all the details yet, but it will definitely involve some rubbing alcohol, a toaster, Ernie’s Rubber Duckie, and the number 8.
- If I could have dinner with one dead celebrity it would be Jam-Master Jay from Run D.M.C.
- Two words that describe me: bored and rich.
- Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who understands what Britney Spears is going through.
- Since I’m 40 years old and still single, people always ask me at what age I’ll consider eHarmony a viable option. The real question is at what age I’ll consider a prostitute a viable option. The answer is 42.
- Stranded with three castmates on a desert island? Easy. Kill Count von Count, screw the Cookie Monster, marry Grover. Man! There really aren’t any chicks in this neighborhood.
- Sometimes I take money out of homeless people’s cups when they’re not looking.
- I think superstitious people are retarded.
- Ethnic people frighten me. Yes, that includes Canadians.
- It makes me sad when I think about how Rosie O’Donnell is a lesbian. I had a crush on her for most of my thirties.
- I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything as much as Oscar loves being grumpy.
- My musical preferences make me feel superior to you.
- I think my romantic peak was sometime during the fall of 1978. I was nine.
- To date, five of my costars have opened up to me about their private struggles with substance abuse and body image issues. Some days I think I might explode from all the secrets I’m holding.
- Sometimes, when all my friends have gone home and I’m being truly honest with myself, I wonder: Who the hell is buying Nickelback CDs?
- The fact that I am 8 foot 2 inches tall and cannot dunk a basketball depresses me almost every single day.
- One of my professional goals is to star as myself in a movie about Jessica Alba’s fantasy life.
- I was going to audition for Season Three of Flavor of Love, but my publicist said it would “alienate my fan base,” whatever that means.
- With the notable exception of “10 Things I Hate About You,” lists divisible by five have always made me uncomfortable.
- I voted for McCain.
Hillary Rodham Clinton