Author Archive | Kent Woodyard

Swing This: A Word on Undecided Voters

Thus far, this site has made an effort to entirely ignore the interminable popularity contest that is the 2008 Presidential Election. Part of this is out of deference to our thousands (millions?) of international readers who have little interest in democracy. Part of this is because we lack the cognitive capacity to fully comprehend what […]

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Short Term Missionaries Convert Entire Village

In addition to Nike, Coke, and George Bush the impoverished residents of Los Lopez, Nicaragua, can add “Oak Springs Baptist Church” to the list of English words that they know.  The reason?  Short term missions.  A team of twelve high school students from the suburban Kansas City church recently completed a week-long mission trip that […]

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Harmless Hobby or Predatory Pastime: A word on “People Watching”

Look at her sitting there, just popping her Bubblicious Gum (probably pink lemonade flavor, her favorite and mine), coyly twirling her fingers through her hair, while she waits to board her flight to Omaha. No wedding band.  About my age.  Definitely within the acceptable range (+/- 8 years). I’m loving that Baylor hoodie. Green does wonders for […]

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School Boards Vote to Allow Thespian Dating

On the heels of the California Supreme Court’s controversial decision to allow gay couples get hotel rooms together, public school boards across the country have followed suit by lifting the longstanding dating restriction imposed on another justifiably marginalized sect of society, thespians. Thespian couples have long been kept apart by tyrannical, socially-adjusted administrators who feared […]

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Congregation demands timetable for withdrawal from missionary

OMAHA, NB (AP) – The congregants of Westside Presbyterian Church have had enough. For the past four years they have faithfully supported Operation Mobilization missionary Jack Powell in his mission to the Middle East, and for the past four years they have stood by him through botched church plants, poorly punctuated Bible translations, and aimlessly […]

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Review: Wendy’s is the best food I have ever tasted and I never want to eat anywhere else

By Will Grazer – TTM Food Critic Dude, drive faster, drive faster! There it is! Don’t miss the turn!! OH YEAH!!!!!!! I FREAKING LOVE WEDNESDAYS!!! Right. Wendy’s. What’d I say? Oh. Well, all I’m sayin is…Wait…wait…hold on a sec, I wanna, I wanna say something……wait…is this…….is this Taco Bell? Oh. I thought someone said chalupa. […]

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