John Piper on Premarital Sex: More Disturbing than Your Parents
Let me just start out by saying that generally, according to his theology and for his appreciation of Tenacious D, I like John Piper. In this situation, I don’t disagree with the overall message that Piper is conveying. This guy is dropping truth bombs so hard, it’s...
An Apology from Jennifer Knapp’s Last Boyfriend
Dear Evangelical Community, Hello. My name is Christopher Benson. You can call me Topher. Unless you workout at Cardinal Fitness in West Pittsburgh or have a child in K – 5th grade PE at Samuel Adams Elementary, chances are good that we have never met. Despite the...
The Over-Analysis: Christian Knock-offs
Being a member of a youth group at Church will teach you a lot of things. You may (hopefully) learn about the Christian faith. You may learn about friendship, romance, or conflict resolution. Maybe you’ll even witness for the first time that yes, farts can indeed be...
Point/Counterpoint: Stop Speaking the Lyrics Before You Sing Them
Powerpoint Guy: Do you know what my job is, Jay? It’s not complicated, but it’s noble. I’ll tell you what my job is, Jay. Take a seat. My job is to deliver the correct words of the worship songs to the congregation, usually spread across a beautiful backdrop....
Pet Peeves for the Common Man: How the Occupy Movement has Failed
How the Occupy Movement has Failed Surely we have all watched with curiosity as "Occupy" protests have erupted around the globe, even in futile places like my scenic home town of McAllen, TX. This fervent movement spread like wildfire all over the world in a...
Mark Driscoll’s Man Quiz
So you’re a guy that wants to be a new member of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, the home of Mark “The Muscles” Driscoll? We’ve got a few questions for you before we get to our theological assessment. These questions have been written by our very own Mark “The Monster”...
What’s in a Name? A Lesson in Church-Name Hermeneutics
A Note From the Authors: All of these churches are real. You can view their websites (most of which are pretty sweet) by clicking the church’s name. The sole purpose of this article is to mock some recently planted churches who, for whatever reason, have chosen some...
Courtside Scenes With Orlando Magic Coach, Stan Van Gundy
“I like that title, by the way. George Bush, you know, is the decider. I can be the decider in Orlando.” -Stan Van Gundy “I thought it was funny they can’t wear any of the jewelry and stuff like that. That’s stricter than the dress code in a lot of office buildings.”...
Guest Editorial: Mellencamp Has Sealed the Election
Americans have quietly shivered through the last 21 months of election coverage waiting on a voice of reason and without compromise, a voice that speaks to the issues of small town America, a beer-swilling-hot-dog-munching voice of the Masses, a voice for the Workin’...
Unseen Footage from Series Finale of Les Stroud’s ‘Survivorman’
Written by Zac Chastain [CAMERA directly front of Les. Time: 6:30PM] So. It’s day six. Only one more night until I’m finished with Papua New Guinea, and with the Survivorman project as a whole. I haven’t had a meal in five days and the creek water has given me...
Flexing Nuts: Who are these “haters” rappers are always yelling at?
As a fairly uncool, suburban white boy with only the required minimum of minority friends, I am at times awe-struck and at times terrified of the shameless cultural whore that is hip-hop “music.” The ballers, the shot-callers, the grills, the Benjamins, the dudes...
Lies before goodbyes: The BS excuses people give for why they have to hang up the phone
Have you ever noticed how people talking on the phone always feel the need to make up some BS reason about why they have to hang up? I first picked up on this several months ago and have since realized – through extensive observation and research – that it is a...