PETA Confirms Insanity

PETA’s ridiculousness isn’t really news. Remember how they thought it would be a good idea to stop animal exploitation with their super progressive naked babes ad campaign? That rationality makes a lot of sense, right? “Stop exploiting animals! These hot chicks are naked! Fur is bad!” So what you’re saying, PETA, is that rather than participate in the horrible fur market, we should instead tap into the highly underpopulated sexual objectification of women market? Fantastic idea. You guys are awesome.

It’s not because I hate animals, or because I really like eating them (even though I really do). It’s because rather than focusing on real, legit issues like a good tar and feathering for Michael Vick or maybe something that helps HUMANS – they instead urge Ben and Jerry’s to use human breast milk in their ice cream. I’ll give you a chance to deal with that bit of vomit that just came up in your mouth.

WTF? Well, their rationale is based on some disputed research that links dairy milk to various diseases, as well as the super convincing argument that “the breast is best!” While I agree that breast feeding is legit for newborn babies and I agree that boobs are indeed the “best,” the thought of drinking human breast milk as an adult makes me want to drink beer until I can’t remember that idea anymore. Just watch this video of a mother who still breast feeds her daughter at the age of EIGHT. Ready to pry this bottle of Don Julio out of my hands and pound it until you can’t see anymore? I thought so. Yeah, PETA, you encourage violent, memory-altering alcoholism but you save cows from being milked (which apparently they really enjoy). Some help you are.

The main problem I have is how much they’ve lost touch with reality. So we replace cows with women? Women that get paid to have those boob milker things on all the time? And that’s going to bolster a humane boob milking industry or something? What?

PETA, if you want to continue breast feeding at whatever not-newborn-and-therefore-super-gross age you are, that’s fine with me. But please, stop trying to force your crazy on the rest of us.

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