Gay Marriage and Why Christians Shouldn’t Care
On June 26, 2015 the Supreme Court struck down gay marriage bans all over the country. To most that have observed the turning tide regarding gay marriage, this did not come as a surprise. Still, many Christians all over the country, including many candidates for the...
John Piper on Premarital Sex: More Disturbing than Your Parents
Let me just start out by saying that generally, according to his theology and for his appreciation of Tenacious D, I like John Piper. In this situation, I don’t disagree with the overall message that Piper is conveying. This guy is dropping truth bombs so hard, it’s...
An Apology from Jennifer Knapp’s Last Boyfriend
Dear Evangelical Community, Hello. My name is Christopher Benson. You can call me Topher. Unless you workout at Cardinal Fitness in West Pittsburgh or have a child in K – 5th grade PE at Samuel Adams Elementary, chances are good that we have never met. Despite the...
The Over-Analysis: Christian Knock-offs
Being a member of a youth group at Church will teach you a lot of things. You may (hopefully) learn about the Christian faith. You may learn about friendship, romance, or conflict resolution. Maybe you’ll even witness for the first time that yes, farts can indeed be...
Point/Counterpoint: Stop Speaking the Lyrics Before You Sing Them
Powerpoint Guy: Do you know what my job is, Jay? It’s not complicated, but it’s noble. I’ll tell you what my job is, Jay. Take a seat. My job is to deliver the correct words of the worship songs to the congregation, usually spread across a beautiful backdrop....
Mark Driscoll’s Man Quiz
So you’re a guy that wants to be a new member of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, the home of Mark “The Muscles” Driscoll? We’ve got a few questions for you before we get to our theological assessment. These questions have been written by our very own Mark “The Monster”...
What’s in a Name? A Lesson in Church-Name Hermeneutics
A Note From the Authors: All of these churches are real. You can view their websites (most of which are pretty sweet) by clicking the church’s name. The sole purpose of this article is to mock some recently planted churches who, for whatever reason, have chosen some...
Adventures In Anglicanism
This upcoming month will mark the fourth anniversary of my tumultuous entrenchment in the ecumenical costume party known as the Anglican Church. Our relationship has been a bit quarrelsome at times, but it seems we have finally settled into a state of amicable...
A primer for the physically inclined, Biblically obedient Christian
Since most Christian young people are still Biblically forbidden from having sex, we are often forced to be satisfied by the next best thing, i.e. talking about it incessantly. Endless conversations swirl around titillating issues like: how awesome it will be, how...
Congregational cage-fighting: A word on public prayer
Since the first century, the institute of communal prayer has been a foundational practice of Christendom. Ecumenical leaders have long relied on public prayer to encourage the body, explicate Biblical truth, and unite the church beneath a common language. Those of us...
Unwanted fetus escapes from mother’s womb
A tiny, hominid-like creature became a national icon this past week after fleeing the uterine prison of its unloving mother. The yet-to-be-named human fetus apparently escaped between two and three a.m. Thursday morning, and has been in hiding ever since. The...
An Imagined Speech to the Couple Snuggling in the Pew Two Rows Up
(whispered) Excuse me. Hi. How are ya? Uh, this is a little awkward for me, and uh…well, I really hate to interrupt you two during the sermon like this and all, but…umm…you see, the thing is, I’m sitting two rows behind you and your little fondle-fest up here has...