Short Term Missionaries Convert Entire Village
In addition to Nike, Coke, and George Bush the impoverished residents of Los Lopez, Nicaragua, can add “Oak Springs Baptist Church” to the list of English words that they know. The reason? Short term missions. A team of twelve high school students from the suburban...
Congregation demands timetable for withdrawal from missionary
OMAHA, NB (AP) – The congregants of Westside Presbyterian Church have had enough. For the past four years they have faithfully supported Operation Mobilization missionary Jack Powell in his mission to the Middle East, and for the past four years they have stood by him...
The More, The Married: A Word on Polygamy
Well, another year has passed and the time has come once again for us to commemorate the brutality of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre by stuffing our faces with chocolate, going on high-pressure dates, and skipping work to watch The Notebook eight times in a row. ...
Where The Ladies At: A Word on Church Hopping
Two months ago, after nearly three years of semi-monogamous partnership, I parted ways with the Anglican church I have attended since my Junior year of college. It was an amicable separation accompanied by none of the status updates, bitter texts, and Hallmark-fueled...
God Writes “The Richard Dawkins Delusion”
The Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, announced yesterday that final edits have been completed on his much anticipated second work of non-fiction. The Richard Dawkins Delusion – God’s first foray into the world of literature in nearly 2,000 years – is a...
Writing Contemporary Worship Music: A Webinar
You’ve got a problem. You feel the Lord calling you to a career as a chart-topping, face-shredding rock star, but you feel guilty about the sex, drugs, and sex that inevitably accompany super stardom. Your solution? Become a worship leader! Get the groupies, the...
The Progression of Laws to Govern Kissing in a Christian Relationship
There is to be no kissing until the wedding day. There is to be no kissing until we’re sure we could see ourselves marrying each other. Kissing is officially sanctioned as long as it is not too noisy and not in the style of the French. The style of the French is...
Everyone Give it Up for Lent!!! By Fratboy Chad
What up bros and brominas? This post is gonna be a bit on the stubby side because it’s tourney time and my bracket is kickin some serious ace! (Booyah kasha! Respect!) I just wanted to say a few words about something that’s been on a lot of people’s minds recently. ...
Young Adult Ministries: A Poem
I roll up to the church Sunday at six p.m. I find a seat in the back As the pastor says amen. You might think it odd That I be at church tonight You might question my motives And you would probably be right. It isn’t a normal service That’s coaxed me from my couch to...
Snowboarders Protest Christian Attempts to Take the “Extreme” out of Xmas
CARLSBAD – Angry shouting, U2 songs, dreadlocks, frightened Republicans, and the faint aroma of marijuana. These are all things one could reasonably expect at a good old fashioned American protest. What one would not expect is for the crowd of college dropouts to be...
Claims of Jesus Interpreted Out of Context
“The gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction and those who enter by it are many.” Gut instinct tells me he’s talking about the front gate at Disneyworld on Labor Day Weekend but odds are better he means eastbound Interstate 10 entering New Orleans....
The Second Chapter of Luke: Reinterpreted for 2010
In those days a decree went out from the Department of Commerce, in accordance with a constitutional mandate, that a census should be taken of the entire American world. This was the first census to take place when Arnold was Governator of California. And all went...