Bottom Shelf Dweller Review: C.B. Jackson Kentucky Straight Bourbon
Let’s have a talk with our new friend, C.B. Jackson
Bottom Shelf Dweller Review: McAfee’s Benchmark Kentucky Straight Bourbon
It’s time to give a grade to McAfee’s Benchmark
Review: Jason Mraz Makes Nickelback Sound Good
Have you ever taken a dump that the toilet just couldn’t seem to choke down? I feel like that toilet when I’m forced to listen to Jason Mraz’s scattin’, be-boppin’, skiddlywink warbling. I could be anywhere–walking down the street, in my grandmother’s car, at the...
Concert Review: Taylor Swift[ly] ruins a perfectly good Sunday
Last evening, at the behest of this organization, and with a chorus of vociferous protests, I sacrificed an evening on the couch to attend a Taylor Swift show. We are striving to engage with our culture and what is American culture if not teenagers with guitars?...
A Food Critic Takes his Family to Hooters
The world of reasonably priced, family-friendly restaurants has long been regarded by its trendier, Zagat-rated cousins as a soulless, post-apocalyptic wasteland devoid of decent food and recently laundered silk tablecloths. This has been one of the great...
Restaurant Review: I’ve Died and Gone to Brazil
I went to heaven last Friday. Alright, maybe not heaven proper, but at least a satellite location in the Chicago Loop. It’s called Fogo de Chao and I want to spend the rest of eternity there. When I first heard about this Brazilian steakhouse or “Churrascaria” I,...
Ruminations on the Song “Human” by The Killers
As the proud owner of 20 college credit hours in philosophy, I can tell you with confidence that the entire history of philosophical discourse is little more than an endless series of killer one-liners. To quote a few: “An unexamined life is not worth living.” –...
Calvin Was Right: The Total Depravity of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”
Saturday night in early June in Southern California, guess what I did? If you guessed: attended an impromptu Miley Cyrus concert, rode around Sunset Boulevard in a limo, and danced in an over-sized Taco Bell that’s been converted into a night club, you would be...
Biased Reviews: Jennifer Aniston on the Jolie-Pitt Twins
This is the second installment in a new TTM series called “Biased Reviews.” It is part of our broader initiative to oppose impartiality, fairness, and intelligent discourse of all kinds. You can read the first one here. The Jolie-Pitt Twins: Cute Cast, Unimpressive...
Biased Reviews: Harry Potter Tears Twilight a New Dumbledore
By: Harry Potter Those of you out there who have spent over 500 weeks on the New York Times Bestsellers List will know the…oh wait…that’s right. I’m the only one who’s done that. I guess I’ll just tell you. Once you’ve been the king, it is difficult to bear an...
Concert Review: Hey Coldplay, Fix This
Since my sophomore year in high school I – like most Americans – have maintained a recreational affinity for the band Coldplay. I own all their CDs, I know every word to every one of their songs, I have a Chris Martin shaped body pillow. Yet they are far from my...
Cabaret Review: “Hot Beans Delivers” – I Hear Good Things
What follows is a review of the cabaret show which has been advertised right next to this sentence for the past several weeks. Conor went to the show last week and wanted to write a review. Unfortunately, between working, long- distance relationshiping, and watching...