Tag Archives | Humor


Seven Crimes to Consider Before Music Piracy

TTM Readers: This is an article that I wrote for As our readerbase doesn’t really overlap very well, they allowed me the opportunity to post it on TTM as well. You can see the original article with all its comments here, on Gaper’s Block. Hey there Chicagoans. Go ahead and pause all your Kazaa, […]

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Ugg Boots: The Epilogue, Part Two

Written by Zac Chastain But deep in the darkness, the hateful heart beats on. The beast was wounded, but still its veins coursed with ink-black blood. While we sat licking ice cream cones and riding merri-go-rounds through the summer months, fattening ourselves on a deluded sense of safety, the monster regained itself. Pound for pound, […]

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Short Term Missionaries Convert Entire Village

In addition to Nike, Coke, and George Bush the impoverished residents of Los Lopez, Nicaragua, can add “Oak Springs Baptist Church” to the list of English words that they know.  The reason?  Short term missions.  A team of twelve high school students from the suburban Kansas City church recently completed a week-long mission trip that […]

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Harmless Hobby or Predatory Pastime: A word on “People Watching”

Look at her sitting there, just popping her Bubblicious Gum (probably pink lemonade flavor, her favorite and mine), coyly twirling her fingers through her hair, while she waits to board her flight to Omaha. No wedding band.  About my age.  Definitely within the acceptable range (+/- 8 years). I’m loving that Baylor hoodie. Green does wonders for […]

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I Am Shopper, Hear Me Bitch

In several previous posts, I have made reference to my work as a low-level manager at a fashion-forward yet reasonably priced mass retailer.  While a great deal of my life now revolves around work, I have tried not to make it a focus of my writing.  This is partly because I try to think about […]

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US Cuts Diplomatic Ties With Rest of World

WASHINGTON DC (AP) – In a shocking announcement yesterday, the United States of America announced that it is officially severing all ties with the rest of the world after nearly two and a half centuries of peaceful coexistence on the same planet. US officials cited egregious rudeness and worldwide ingratitude as primary reasons for the […]

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75% Off, 100% Insane: A Word on Clearance Shopping

I have learned much in my first six months as a manager at a massive, multi-national retailer and most of it has little to do with running a retail establishment (I still know just more than nothing about that.)  A short list of the courses I have unwittingly audited could include: parent/child power struggles in […]

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