Swing This: A Word on Undecided Voters

Thus far, this site has made an effort to entirely ignore the interminable popularity contest that is the 2008 Presidential Election. Part of this is out of deference to our thousands (millions?) of international readers who have little interest in democracy. Part of this is because we lack the cognitive capacity to fully comprehend what […]

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School Boards Vote to Allow Thespian Dating

On the heels of the California Supreme Court’s controversial decision to allow gay couples get hotel rooms together, public school boards across the country have followed suit by lifting the longstanding dating restriction imposed on another justifiably marginalized sect of society, thespians. Thespian couples have long been kept apart by tyrannical, socially-adjusted administrators who feared […]

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Congregation demands timetable for withdrawal from missionary

OMAHA, NB (AP) – The congregants of Westside Presbyterian Church have had enough. For the past four years they have faithfully supported Operation Mobilization missionary Jack Powell in his mission to the Middle East, and for the past four years they have stood by him through botched church plants, poorly punctuated Bible translations, and aimlessly […]

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The DMV vs. Airport Security – A Comparative Study

Few things this side of Kanye West can inspire within Americans the wrath and righteous indignation caused by the Department of Motor Vehicles and airport security.  These dens of iniquity are similar to most government agencies in that the quality of one’s life is inversely proportionate to the amount of time spent there.  Since their […]

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PETA Confirms Insanity

PETA’s ridiculousness isn’t really news. Remember how they thought it would be a good idea to stop animal exploitation with their super progressive naked babes ad campaign? That rationality makes a lot of sense, right? “Stop exploiting animals! These hot chicks are naked! Fur is bad!” So what you’re saying, PETA, is that rather than […]

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Believe in Hope for Change

Based on what I’ve heard from Him in His campaign, I’ve written a potential speech for Barack Obama. I’ve tried to mold my language to His, fitting within His various doctrines. I hope it inspires you the way it has inspired me. (Waving for silence amongst the cheers of faithful followers) Ladies and Gentlemen, Brothers […]

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Joe the Moron Under Represented

As you all know very well, The Talking Mirror is a well respected news organization trusted by millions. That burden weighs heavily on our shoulders, so when we see injustice in the way other supposed “news” organizations are covering the upcoming election we feel called by Truth itself to speak out. This is one of […]

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