To “Sober Guy,” Respectfully

To “Sober Guy,” Respectfully

To Whom it May Concern: Recently I attended a birthday celebration at an establishment aimed at people over the age of 21. You may call it a “bar,” a “club,” or even a “house of ill repute.” Admittedly the third moniker isn’t completely accurate as the “transactions”...
To “Drunk Guy,” a Retort

To “Drunk Guy,” a Retort

Dear Sir/Madame, Having received your objectionably accusatory, alcohol-soaked correspondence nearly a week ago today, I have thus seen it fit to provide you with a declarative defense, to be presented to you before the scrutinous gaze of the benevolent public, or,...
One Word Answers from Fratboy Chad

One Word Answers from Fratboy Chad

Wut up skankz its Fratboy Chad. One of my broz tagged me on this one word thing on FB so here it izzzzzzzzz type only ONE word answers It’s harder than you think. Here is what you are supposed to do…and please don’t spoil the fun…copy and paste into your own note,...

How to Cope with the First Date: A Guide

Yes, yes, I know. It’s been a long time since we’ve spent some time together, talking through our problems and becoming better people. I apologize for the hiatus of my massive wisdom. I’ve been busy writing my autobiography How to Cope with Being Awesome: The Life of...

This Shamrock Pin is Bogus

A Conversation Between an Inebriated Irishman and the Passersby on Saint Patrick’s Day Hey. Hey. You. Hey. Listen to me. Hey. You see this pin I got here? This one, right here on my chest. Or one might say breast, hehehe… You see this pin? Yeah, read it. Hey, don’t...

Early Bird: I’ve Got the Worm, So What?

When was the last time you woke up at 4am? It’s pretty much the darkest point of the entire night, when Marilyn Manson’s skin shines brighter than the sun ever could.  Last time I checked God isn’t even awake at 4am. Zombies, party boys, drug addicts, and homeless...