Seven Crimes to Consider Before Music Piracy
TTM Readers: This is an article that I wrote for www.gapersblock.com As our readerbase doesn’t really overlap very well, they allowed me the opportunity to post it on TTM as well. You can see the original article with all its comments here, on Gaper’s Block. Hey there...
Pet Peeves for the Common Man: How the Occupy Movement has Failed
How the Occupy Movement has Failed Surely we have all watched with curiosity as "Occupy" protests have erupted around the globe, even in futile places like my scenic home town of McAllen, TX. This fervent movement spread like wildfire all over the world in a...
Guest Editorial: Mellencamp Has Sealed the Election
Americans have quietly shivered through the last 21 months of election coverage waiting on a voice of reason and without compromise, a voice that speaks to the issues of small town America, a beer-swilling-hot-dog-munching voice of the Masses, a voice for the Workin’...
Unwanted fetus escapes from mother’s womb
A tiny, hominid-like creature became a national icon this past week after fleeing the uterine prison of its unloving mother. The yet-to-be-named human fetus apparently escaped between two and three a.m. Thursday morning, and has been in hiding ever since. The...
Swing This: A Word on Undecided Voters
Thus far, this site has made an effort to entirely ignore the interminable popularity contest that is the 2008 Presidential Election. Part of this is out of deference to our thousands (millions?) of international readers who have little interest in democracy. Part of...
School Boards Vote to Allow Thespian Dating
On the heels of the California Supreme Court’s controversial decision to allow gay couples get hotel rooms together, public school boards across the country have followed suit by lifting the longstanding dating restriction imposed on another justifiably marginalized...
Congregation demands timetable for withdrawal from missionary
OMAHA, NB (AP) – The congregants of Westside Presbyterian Church have had enough. For the past four years they have faithfully supported Operation Mobilization missionary Jack Powell in his mission to the Middle East, and for the past four years they have stood by him...
Satan: Yeah I Voted for Obama, Didn’t You?
Bonjour, Konnichiwa, and Hakuna Matata. I trust you all are feeling sufficiently miserable during this preposterous holiday season. I mean, for the love of David Koresh, what is all this day of thanks nonsense about anyway? Seriously, do you people really have that...
US Cuts Diplomatic Ties With Rest of World
WASHINGTON DC (AP) – In a shocking announcement yesterday, the United States of America announced that it is officially severing all ties with the rest of the world after nearly two and a half centuries of peaceful coexistence on the same planet. US officials cited...
This Is How We Do It: A Word on the Blagojevich Scandal
Over the past week we have received several requests from our faithful readers to comment on the recent Blagojevich blowout (or Blago-palooza as us native Illinoisians call it). I was initially confused by these requests as I am not well-acquainted with what you kids...
Who Needs Ice Caps?: A Word on Global Warming
As with most things not featured in the newspaper’s sports section or covered extensively on E! the Entertainment Channel, this whole Global Warming debacle perplexes me to no end. So, it appears the earth is frantically trying to warm itself and a coalition of...
Over-Stimulated: A Word on Recession-Based Advertising
You know what the worst thing about this whole economic downturn is? Please, don’t say the lost jobs, foreclosed homes, bankrupt businesses, broken lives, or shattered dreams. Those are all peripheral annoyances at best. The single most unbearable, most depressing,...