Dudes, Bros, and Chicks:
Paul Walker here, rocking out with my socks out. You know what I mean. So I’m gonna review the new Fast & Furious for TTM. I loved this movie, and I’m about to tell you why.
I mean, I guess I’m… What’s the word? Like when you want the team you’re on to score a touchdown? And you want the other team to lose? Oh yeah! Opinionated. That’s it. I guess I’m opinionated, but like, this movie has everything you need in a movie. At least in a PG13 movie, I mean. Yeah, you’re tracking with me.
Anyway, it’s got babes, and badass cars with huge balls, and guns, and explosions, and me kicking asses. Someone told me that crickets are talking crap about it, but look here guys, are you gonna listen to a stupid bug? Give me a break. I didn’t even know they could talk, except for that Disney one. And what do they know about making a good movie? They’re bugs dude. I step on them.
So anyway, Vin Diesel is back in this movie and he’s like, super jacked. It’s crazy man, for real. We were working out this one time on set, and he was like “Hey Paul, can you spot me?” and I was all like “Whoa Vin” – cause I call him that, since we’re bros – “Whoa Vin, I don’t think I could spot you if I wanted to!” Yeah man, it was crazy, cause the weights he was lifting were super heavy. He’s huge.
The movie is pretty cool. I get to drive all these fast cars, and a few times I make out with Vin’s sister, and she’s like super hot. It’s not his real sister, I mean. His sister in the movie. I forget what their names were though.
And check this out: When we did The Fast and The Furious – huge difference between the movies, I’m serious – when we did that one, I like, memorized my lines every day. This one, though, is like, super complex. The lines were really hard, so I had to use some cue cards. But I’ve been doing acting classes and I think you can really tell. There were a few times in the movie where like, I was supposed to be mad in the scene, and I actually got mad, like in real life. Like I was actually pissed! That’s how I know I was born to be an actor, ya know? Because when I feel the scene, I totally feel it bro. It’s cool if you don’t get it, not everybody does.
Then there’s this one scene where we like, totally take the movie to the next level. This one bad guy dude, I don’t really remember what he did that was bad, just that I had to race cars against him or something… Maybe he tried to steal my girlfriend, I don’t know. He did something to threaten my awesomeness, that’s the important part. Anyway, this guy gave a Priest a bunch of money – and this is bad money, not good money, like money he got from stealing or something – and the Priest, he totally takes it! Man, Fast & Furious just owned you Catholic Church! Suck it.
So anyway I’m going to go get hit on by chicks at the gym and check out myself in the mirror as I lift, but you should for real go see The Fast and The Furious, it’s a legit badass movie. I mean Furious and Fast. Crap, Fast & Furious, whatever. Later Brah.