by Conor McCarthy | Aug 28, 2016 | Culture
There are a plethora of colloquialisms that have burrowed their way into our common language like some kind of horrifying parasite. And there are many language abusers to blame, from Paris Hilton to Snoop Dogg, popularizing these vile forms of verbal vomit via various...
by Conor McCarthy | Aug 28, 2016 | Culture
Hey guys. Good ‘ol Satan here, just broing out having a sandwich. Wanna know what I love? Besides hatred, discontent, divisiveness, the Yankees, and everything Michael Jackson has ever done (musical and otherwise), I love bacon. It’s crispy, it’s tasty, it goes with...
by Conor McCarthy | Aug 28, 2016 | Culture
Hey there chief, About the advice you gave me… Look, let me just start by saying that I know you had good intentions. You meant well, and I appreciate your well-meaningness.You’re a good friend/mentor/parent/random acquaintance who asked “how are you” and got way more...
by Conor McCarthy | Aug 28, 2016 | Culture
Ladies, I’m going to go ahead and clue you in to a little secret that is guaranteed to strengthen your relationship with your beau, or boo, or whatever the hell you want to call your boy toy. That’s right. This is TTM: Cosmo Edition. There’s a little phenomenon I’ve...
by Conor McCarthy | Aug 28, 2016 | Culture
I started a similar “article” when I was a junior or senior in high school, I think for some kind of bootlegged school newspaper or something. Back then, though, I was afraid that the subject matter – that of hating obese children – would be offensive to people, so I...
by Conor McCarthy | Aug 28, 2016 | Culture, Religion
The following is a transcript of the conversation that took place during a Bible study that Heidi and Spencer Pratt attended. For reasons of personal security, we cannot divulge how we attained this information. CHRIS (Bible Study Leader): Hey everybody! I’d like to...
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